"Volume 001" - Entry 004
Entry 04 - 2015
Filed from South Yorkshire - "2015"
All good things come to an end, and so did this. I'm not sure whether it was the double life, the avoiding of my mental health, the drink or the substances, but it all caught up with me one summer in 2015.
" Worth Remembering "
We'd spent the weekend doing what bands do at the 2000trees music festival in the UK.
I'd say that was the hardest I ever pushed it.
I was on cloud nine that weekend.
Then reality kicked in. Home alone, one of the biggest comedowns I wouldn't wish on an enemy.
I was lonely in my real life. I hated where I worked. I felt like there was no point in even existing. I pushed away family, colleagues, friends. I spiralled down.
I was so low that I tried to take my own life, not wanting to continue in that monotonous life. I was extremely lucky. Members of my family and my best friend's wife broke into my flat, found me half dead on my bed, and brought me back. My father stayed at the hospital with me all night. I still feel the guilt of that today.
Maybe one day I'll speak about it further. Not now.